Archive for May 2011

April showers …

4 May 2011

May 3. The flowers bloom a little brighter today.

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Benevolent Dictator Party of Canada

1 May 2011

Contemplating the vandalized and stolen election signs it occurred to me that perhaps Canadians agree with Mr Harper ‘s belief that the election is unwanted. So I would like to offer a suggestion to put an end to these dangerous and unnecessary exercises.

I propose the Benevolent Dictator Party (BDP) of Canada.

The BDP will be headed by the Prime Magnate (PM). The PM will be advised and supported by his closest friends who along with the PM will form the Prime Magnates Office (PMO).

The Benevolence of the BDP will shine on all kinds of Canadians. For example, prior criminal convictions will not bar a person from employment in the PMO and if something like 20% of gross sales of a government contract will help the fiancée of a Party member pull herself up from a troubled past, then the Party will be glad to help.

Parliament will consist of representatives of the Party appointed across the country with preference given to family members of already serving Party members. With only Party members present, parliament will be much less contemptible.

The BDP will eliminate the deficit by 2014 by cutting wasteful and inefficient spending. For example donations to the Party or spending by the Party won’t have to be accounted for to anyone, saving on accounting costs. The Party will not have to waste time and money fighting election fraud charges.

With no opposition parties there will be no per vote subsidies to them. Canadians will no longer have to give money to parties they don’t support (though it is unclear why Canadians would have been voting for parties they didn’t support under the current system). Instead we will have donations to the Party from business and other sources. Perhaps in the form of sacks of money handed over in hotel rooms.

The BDP will be able to just get on with governing. It won’t matter if money approved for something like security gets spent on a party member’s playground. If a Party minister decides to write “NOT” on a document, there will be no need to lie about it to meddlesome committees. After all, the Party knows best so why waste time bickering.

Some people may have trouble adapting to the new system so we will need fighter jets to keep the peace and big prisons to house dissenters in. Fortunately the Conservative government already has these things in the works.

The BDP will continue with these and other projects and tax cuts that benefit our friends and generous supporters. This will benefit all Canadians as money trickles down through jobs. At least so long as those jobs’ wages and benefits do not make it more economical to send the jobs elsewhere or to have them done by short-term workers brought in from other countries. There will also be tax help for ordinary Canadians. Some day.

Citizens will enjoy celebrating the Party at rallies. Attendees social media will be screened in advance to save anyone the embarrassment of being evicted from a rally.

Accountability is a nuisance. In the words of John Baird, “Let us replace accountability with corruption!”