I had this shirt on today

I had this shirt on today. (Not my actual shirt, not my actual photo.)
It was given to me by a friend in recognition of some work that was probably not enough to deserve it, but I’m grateful for the enthusiastic support of good friends.

I’d changed into it after spending the day prepping for, and then fumbling (pretty sure), a job interview. I was feeling wrung out, exhausted. Tried to nap. Couldn’t sleep.

Needed to go the grocery store and wanted to pick up a beer to drink while doing the dishes and listening to Destroy Boys fairly loud to try to settle my mind so I can sleep tonight.

Needed to go to the grocery store and wanted to pick up a beer. Looked at my shirt. And I took it off. Put on a plain t-shirt. I just didn’t feel like maybe getting into a conflict. Particularly with lots of pipeline workers in town. It felt cowardly.

My friend who gave it to me can’t take off being Wet’suwet’en when he’s tired and doesn’t want a hassle. My Stó:lō friends can’t take off being Stó:lō to go to the store. I’ve had a Stó:lō friend, someone who’s the kindest, biggest hearted person you could ever hope to meet, tell me “I don’t go to that store.” The people on the front line in Wet’suwet’en territory sure can’t escape the constant “Crown land” patrols of RCMP at all hours, and the likes of a man with a gun standing there telling them to “speak English” when they bring up the Delgamuukw case they won in the Supreme Court of fricking Canada.

I put on a plain t-shirt and went to the grocery store and picked up a beer with my spotty white skin some of which never tans and my shiny grey hair that you can see like a white-tailed deer’s backside running away.

It weighs on me, taking that shirt off. Maybe a fight would have been better. I hope my white and white-passing friends might weigh this a bit too if they read here.

And btw, did you know there’s a Two Row Times?
https://tworowtimes.com/…/an-open-letter-to-canadians…/

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